My friend just admitted to me that he jerked off to your profile. Would you like to meet him? He’s a little shy. I can’t say that I disagree with his choice;)

Have you ever eaten sea urchin? I haven’t. That would be an adventurous date, unless something went terribly wrong like an allergic reaction or I had a piece of sea urchin stuck in my teeth. Or yours. Would you tell me if I did? And would you want me to interrupt your story to point out a stubborn urchin speck in your mouth? There are so many unknowns. 

I got giardia in Nepal when I was sixteen, grew up in San Francisco, sleep on my right side, I minored in Russian because I lost a drunken bet, I once went to the hospital I work at now for getting a twig stuck in my throat, have been in porn, I know most of the lines from the musical “Into the Woods,” and I pass out every time I get my blood drawn (very common for people with light eyes—can you relate?). 

I love it, your literary symphony made me jizz in my pants, not really, but maybe some pre-jizz. Chicago has too many black ppl - much like new Orleans

His screen name is, wait for it, captaindouchbag

looking to celebrate intenational v day today — would love to by performing sacred felatio to be honest… interested?

in the disguise of a god, consummating his service to the goddess of course