I would [watch always sunny or whatever] ya all night long girl. Wait, what? God, I’m sorry. Let me start over. 

You look like the cute, non-anorexic version of that Felicity broad from that awful TV show about ten years ago. 

Man, I suck at this. One more time —

Hi, I’m Mike. Nice to meet you. I would definitely plow you and would most likely actually answer your call the next day. 


Fuck it, I’m not built for this. It was my pleasure to waste your time with this message. Best of luck!