I WISH I WERE A DOG
(i did not reply to any of these messages and decided to block this user after the last message)
Oi is that you?
Have you got two profile on here or something?
Nice photos btw.
Well, if it isn’t who I thought it was, hi!
Your skin is so very sublime. I love the glow that the camera catches off the cupcake which pales in comparison to the glow exuded by your face.
Oh, that hat. you continue to surprise me miss _____. I find it hard to believe that is your name, I’d guess you as more of an Elanor.
They say some men grow up to marry their own mum.
Thing is, I’ve come to terms with this and am looking for a girlfriend that reminds me of my mum. When I saw your profile, I thought my eyes were playing tricks on me. “Mum?” I gasped. Not believing that she would put herself on such a dating website, far be it from her. I then came to my senses and realised you are my dream women.
TODAY IS MY BIRTHDAY. I WISH, I WISH I WERE A DOG SO I COULD SUCK MYSELF OFF.