July 2011
12 posts
It's okay because it's only pretend...
“Hey there… you seem like an adventurous, open-minded girl, so I’ll ask… I am looking for someone to practice rope bondage with… I know that is super direct of me to say, but I am looking for something specific :) I have found a significant amount of people on OkCupid who are at least curious about it. If this is you, reply back and let’s at the very least have...
Do you prefer cock measurements in American or...
would you like my 7.8 cock cutie?
That's all I'm sayin
So here’s the business. OK Cupid says we’re only a 48%. That’s gotta be on you, because I know I’m like a million percent down to hang out. You’re really cute, you probably love Wes Anderson.. I don’t know. I feel like there’s somethin’ there. You’re not feelin’ this..?
You must have a thing against beards. Or big guys. Or maybe...
Stating the obvious?
“greetings..which isn’t hi…well it is but its a different way of saying the same thing….i drink coffee…i judge people’s bad grammar/spelling as well…”
take a hint
Botoxed on a First Date
Hey sexy Thanks for checking out my profile. I am looking to meet some girlfriends to spend quality and fun time with. I am full of energy , personality and well just love to have girlfriends to explore our sexuality first and the Bay area second. I am very playful and absolute savor girl on girl play. I also have a handsome boyfriend who is Italian/Persian, he is a surgeon but an absolute blast...
3 tags
Thanks Becky. I will have a good summer.
“heyyy wats up im thinkin about movin to philly.. how do u like it?? -becky :)” 6:34pm
“not interested ?? jk have a good summer :)” 6:42pm
“or do u happen to kno whos got the bud out here?” 6:53pm
3 tags
“I’ve heard librarians give good head. Is that true? It’s also good...”
4 tags
You won't regert it
OkCupid Dude:
im looking for for my gf….no lie..lol your face eyes lips hair smile and that perky tight perky body to match.damn..haha im a super sweet guy told im funny and caring big heart..never lie or cheat hate drama and jelousness too..and im very dierct honest and foawrd..told im have a dirty mind and i like some kinky thiings too hun..no worries ok…so can we talk see how i...
4 tags
oh thanks
“Your pretty hot for being so fucked up. I never would have figured you to be disabled.”
3 tags
“I want a swinger girlfriend. Want to apply?”
2 tags
“Write me back, goober! ;p I promise it will be ok.. I’ll only call you ten...”
June 2011
20 posts
5 tags
Why a koala?
I would battle a fire breathing koala inside a Toyota Prius wielding only a shake weight just to share a romantic dinner on Skype with you on a dial up connection.
5 tags
Pre-jizz and racism
I love it, your literary symphony made me jizz in my pants, not really, but maybe some pre-jizz. Chicago has too many black ppl - much like new Orleans
His screen name is, wait for it, captaindouchbag
2 tags
If you're ready for such an experience
“I hope you can appreciate my candor. You caught my eye with alarming efficiency and I was compelled to investigate. You seem like a pretty cool individual with whom it would be a pleasure to get acquainted. The prevailing sentiment I came away with, however, is that I wouldn’t mind getting my hands on you and learning how to fulfill your every desire—including those you...
2 tags
3 tags
“Please write me something sexy! Both you and your Girl are smoking!”
4 tags
Allow me to ask you about presidential memorabilia
I was taken by your claim that you have impeccable taste in literature and so I thought I would write. I quickly scrolled down to see your list of favorite books and I was a little surprised to see that only American novels occurred in it, and they were all written in the 20th century. (Incidentally, I did double-check all this on wikipedia, just not to look more ignorant than necessary). May I...
3 tags
Consummating his service to the goddess
looking to celebrate intenational v day today — would love to by performing sacred felatio to be honest… interested?
in the disguise of a god, consummating his service to the goddess of course
3 tags
“you seem healthy yaaay”
– From a 25-year-old chick. So there, it’s not just dudes. You’re welcome. 