June 2011
20 posts
5 tags
Why a koala?
I would battle a fire breathing koala inside a Toyota Prius wielding only a shake weight just to share a romantic dinner on Skype with you on a dial up connection.
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Pre-jizz and racism
I love it, your literary symphony made me jizz in my pants, not really, but maybe some pre-jizz. Chicago has too many black ppl - much like new Orleans
His screen name is, wait for it, captaindouchbag
2 tags
If you're ready for such an experience
“I hope you can appreciate my candor. You caught my eye with alarming efficiency and I was compelled to investigate. You seem like a pretty cool individual with whom it would be a pleasure to get acquainted. The prevailing sentiment I came away with, however, is that I wouldn’t mind getting my hands on you and learning how to fulfill your every desire—including those you...
2 tags
3 tags
“Please write me something sexy! Both you and your Girl are smoking!”
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Allow me to ask you about presidential memorabilia
I was taken by your claim that you have impeccable taste in literature and so I thought I would write. I quickly scrolled down to see your list of favorite books and I was a little surprised to see that only American novels occurred in it, and they were all written in the 20th century. (Incidentally, I did double-check all this on wikipedia, just not to look more ignorant than necessary). May I...
3 tags
Consummating his service to the goddess
looking to celebrate intenational v day today — would love to by performing sacred felatio to be honest… interested?
in the disguise of a god, consummating his service to the goddess of course
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“you seem healthy yaaay”
– From a 25-year-old chick. So there, it’s not just dudes. You’re welcome.
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Need a career change?
You should build artificially intelligent battle droids for the military.
“would you consider dressing me up like a woman?”
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Treat him like a lady
Sender notes: For the record… I did NOT check you out. EVER.
hey you are in my “single out, confident match”
Congrats, you appeared on my daily 5 it also appears that you checked me out, but you didn’t wink or leave a msg…the only thing left i can think of is that you are too shy to initiate…but this is …this is not on the streeet…anyways
i will...
6 tags
It's Not Okay, Text Message
aka “Texts (From Last Night) From A Guy I Met (Last Night)”* 1:44 a.m. - “The is my.number. Id like to.see you again.” 1:47 a.m. - “I wish I was cuddling with you, but thats more of a selfish thought… Id enjoy to see you tomorrow. Id of been too much tonight for you. :)” 1:49 a.m. - “I live so close to you.” 1:53 a.m. - “I would...
“id like speak with you and i see your picture know i want see your other photos...”
5 tags
You aren't my age, are you?
The thinly veiled corridors of social stratification encapsulate all of us. I don’t think it’s important for people to meet people their own age, I think it is important for people to meet people they like. I do however realize, many people think they should like people their own age, and so opportunities to actually find profound influences, are decreased.
According to his...
Thanks for the list?
Hi, my name is Andrew. I am messaging you for five reasons. The first reason is that after reading your profile, you seem like an awesome person to hang out with. The second reason is that I am very interested in getting to know more about you. The third reason is that you like do things outside and you like to go on adventure. The fourth reason is that you are also a husky. The fifth reason...
4 tags
It's not okay, Facebook
hi, u can add me if u want, i’ll approve u, i can’t add people cause facebook disables me from adding since i’m trying 2 add cool,nice people all day long. i’m nice, compassionate,an animal activist, i’m cool, funny & weird. I have a youtube video called ‘fell in love with a cam whore’ or ‘flabby nightclubber’ it can be an audition for...
4 tags
Aske me
hey i just checked your profile and your picture caught my eye…i have a feeling that there is more to you than your looks but lets see if you’re as nice, interesting and attractive as you are in the picture if you’re interested hit me back before my Mom makes me go to bed
Geez, has this guy never heard of brevity?
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I like your horse, just not you
Your horse is it a mustang? Have you seen Dreamer? You look decent btw.
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“U r very pretty! Want to find bliss? Or give a nice guy a ride to a funeral over...”
aresef asked: I see all these absolutely mortifying archived OKC messages on Tumblr and my question is if there are girls out there who respond to these, why is it nobody ever responds to my perfectly reasonable, cheerful and polite messages? Kind of, well, puzzles me.
