It's Not OK, OkCupid

I like to eat paper, it is such a bad habit. I need serious help.

It’s thanksgivings, and I want to pump you full of gravy.

Hey Neighbor,

I feel like I understand most.

Some of the terms and phrases you’ve thrown around confound me.

I am afraid from ghost.

“all i can be ok with but active partner and cool for that”

hey how you doing beautiful, im not gonna sit here and waste ur time, i work for a financial company and can make you up to 5000 no problem, if your serious and want to make money with me while getting to know me send ur email or cell number and i will get hold of u

Hey I read your profile and ummm I feel you appear attractive and consequently would love the opportunity to enhance your life by means of exposure to my awesomeness. kthxbye

Hhhhhh

Samuel Beckett is on OkCupid? 

Do you wanna hang out cutie? I’m so ready to not be a virgin anymore…:/​

I like fried chees and sex. I’m guessing that that doesn’t quite mean you want to hook up(at least I’m hoping your standards aren’t that low). If I’m wrong, well then I’m sorry for offending your low standards, but we probably wouldn’t work out anyway. I like girls who judge their sexual partners based on more than just their enjoyment of mozzarella sticks.

Hi, how are you?
Please only don’t get mad at me. Would you go to a bed with me? Please. You are such a hot girl, and I would love to meet somebody like you. Would you do it for me? please
Please let me take you for a dinner, and drinks, please. How I could convince you to meet with me?

Hi girly, Im (name) im a tattoo artist and i ve been tattooing for a long time and i am sending you this massage because i like younger woman .18 -to - 26 and i think there so much fun to hang out with and not so many hang ups and not a lot of drama plus there hotter in bed and more passionate ha ha lol.. i am also a master grower of the 420 kinda stuff i ve been growing for a long time to and well i saw your profile the other day and you look hella chill and i wanted to talk to ya …i hope you like my profile too and we can talk and maybe hook up ..

hey, you are hot

professor here

I am often told that I am not a very nice man, but that I am great in bed

Obviously spam, but kind of amazing.
My name is Nancy,I saw your profile today at www.idealist.org and interested in you, I will also like to know more, and I want you to send an e-mail to my email address so that I can give you my picture for you know who I am here is my e-mail. I think we can move from here, I am waiting for your mail to my email email above.Nancy (Remember the distance or color of any age does not matter but love matters a lot in life)Remember to contact me and remian blessyours new friend

Hey, 
I’ll be honest here and say I think you are attractive. I’d like to share some one-on-one time with you. No wining-or-dining or movies or anything of that sort. Assuming you’re not crazy, just some quality time exchanging orgasms with one another. 
—S

I’m sleeping 
And right in the middle of a good dream 
When all at once I wake up 
From something that keeps knockin’ at my brain. 
Before I go insane 
I hold my pillow to my head 
And spring up in my bed 
Screaming out the words I dread 

We’re all out of Egg McMuffins?

Kim Kardashian is top-trending on Twitter?

What, Sir, what? I guess we’ll never know.