April 2013
1 post
To bad you have no follow through
Hello, how goes your day. Yeah its nice to read someone whose got a bit of depth. If you were a blog id read you every day. Btw, Berkeley is a magical place to me. Peace movement started there. Huge history. Do you know studio city/Hollywood area. I know Marin, san rafel, napa, sabastopol, etc.
[next day]
To bad you have no follow through. You see im actually part owner of one of the jets in my...
September 2012
15 posts
1 tag
Ping pong
So it says that you enjoy being gagged. Or you enjoy gagging your partner. Remind me of ghat japanese film in the realm of the senses. Hi my name is heath. I dont usually start out the conversation this way but i was surprised by your answer. From your profile i wouldnt have guessed that you were so “kinky”, but reading your questions changed that. Anyways do you enjoy ping pong? My...
Includes a "fable"
Note: this guy had messaged me 2 times when I had my old OkCupid account and once to my new account. He had stalked me for awhile before sending me a new message to my new account.
“well, I know this will be the third time I’m messaging you and trust me, this will be the last. I don’t even know if you’ll ever read it but here goes. I probably bombed extremely hard on the...
?
No thanks…
Glad we settled that then.
1 tag
“u have a nice set of teeth! i like it..i think we should hangout sometime :-)”
CFNM
Hey, I’m a young professional in Boston looking for some CFNM (Clothed Female, Nude Male) fun. This is nothing sexual… just casual nudity. I could cook or clean for you or we can just hang out. Friends are also welcome to join. I’m 25, 5’11, 165 lbs, athletic build. If you’re interested, let me know and I will send my picture. Thanks, Tommy
You can keep the dragon
After a rigorously brief overview of your profile I wanted to let you know I have already married and divorced you in my mind. Thanks for all the wonderful imaginary memories… you will always have a special place in my heart. your ex-hubby P.S. You can keep the dragon and I will keep the house on Mars =)
No idea...
Well, you sound like you might be more than just another pretty face. I get a sense that your inbox is probably always full of messages from guys saying how good n qualified they are for you. In the real life they are probably freshly divorced from their seventh wife, have kids… but the good news is that they have a good chance at finally getting a job lol
1 tag
“If you don’t have a secret crisis my dear I offer you a spot at the top of the...”
5 unthinkable options
I propose 5 unthinkable options for your viewing pleasure at the very least. Each option provides untold pain and misery should you choose to embark: 1. We can take things slow and have a Q&A session over a few “get to know you” e-mails before meeting. 2. We can shift into 2nd gear, trade digits, and exchange hundreds of texts for a conversation that would’ve taken 30...
A couple questions
Wow! The best autobiography (profile)! I’ve read on here! Very amusing and thought provoking!! Wishing you were older and fatter then I think we could last. I got a couple of questions though?
“Up for a romp? I want to hump your ladylumps, and have my pump stomp your plump...”
– This should win some kind of It’s Not Ok, OkCupid award
“The fact that you were able to type out over 100 characters on your short time...”
At least it'll be discrete...
I have something fun in mind if you’re down for an adventure. Let’s go to a park sometime and we can chat, while I give your body some discrete pleasure.
relentless rex
Taking some pics?
or doing yoga?
I’m doing both
It’s hard to take pics while doing yoga
But the stretches help me to take more contortion pictures
Do you ever try to take pictures while doing yoga
I’mtrying a stand up routine
i can stand up and routine and take pictures and do yoga all at the same time and still tickle you if you want
Did you know that I once had to dress up like...
Mocha Colored Children
my name is Andy, and i think with your light complexion and my defined, dark features, we could make some beautiful mocha colored children. im gonna wanna send them to private school though, i hope thats ok. Also, i dont think we should keep soda in the house because its too sugary and we dont want them to get cavities.
August 2012
20 posts
a funderful glow
WoW, You exude a warm energy and a wonderful (funderful) glow at the core of your being that illuminates the world around you! You are truly blessed and I hope that others are be blessed by you…
As you know everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they’re right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to...
Hi, do you have weak arms? I love weak arms
1 tag
“Yo girl you doper than a heroin needle, let me hold your hand in public.”
1 tag
“hey wha0st up. im not 20 but….shit happens?”
1 tag
“excuse me, hi i was wondering if i could be the hello to your kitty tonight?”
Seeking life tutor/dominatrix
Hello there, I was curious to email you and say hi. I was curious to ask if you would ever considering mentoring someone like me? I am seeking a firm, but caring woman as a more disciplinarian figure in my life, one to help me in life and reaching goals etc I have set. I am NOT seeking sex or a relationship, but rather a dynamic where rules are set and you help me reach them. Ideally a woman not...
e"males"
After reading your profile, and viewing your photo, I conclude that you are tired,Chrissy , of hundreds of e”males” saying the same old thing, almost word for word, “pawing after you”, with hundreds of the same old tired, boring, canned cliches of compliments, from boring guys, who look twice your age, and you find me intriguing, and a bit mysterious,unique, if you will,...
You’re thinking of those dorks over at Keebler
Hmmmm…I think you need a spanking, Chrissy….. Have you been a good little girl, Chrissy? The reason I ask: With Christmas fast approaching, it reminds me that I knew Santa forgot to give me something for Christmas last year-you, Chrissy! However, being a part time/stand by elf year round, “Nick” gives me the keys to his sleigh for a few weeks prior to Christmas each year. And I have certain needs...
Would you be interested in taking my virginity?
Hi, would you be interested in taking my virginity? If you are and want to see a picture of me then reply back I will send my pic over on here. I am a college student at UC Berkeley and I am a good looking white guy but am a virgin when it comes to sex and want to get some more experience. I am messaging you because I am seeking out a woman who will be more understanding. You are really beautiful...
I just hope my fetish with cheese does not...
Hello, my name is Chris. I am sure you are seeking a relationship, and I am sort of seeking the same, well sort of. You see I am currently content with my life. I enjoy meeting new people and making friends, but I also enjoy looking for women who are just looking for fun, opportunities, and or sex. I am kind of hoping you may be one of those women, who are open to certain activities of a...
seriously?
archivetilt:
An OkCupid message:
how is your day going? My name is bruce 29. i am litter over weight but i am work on loss it . i have date for. if u want to know why is bescue i have not had time to date. now i have time to date someone. i work a full job 6 to 2 then i work a part job . i not look for a hookup i want more that. i like see the woman i am date more then just one week hope to...
1 tag
“Can we like cut the bull shit and skip to the date for tonight, you’re...”
You go be Batman
This isn’t a Hi What’s Up kinda message to boring & usual Maybe you won’t respond but hey the world isn’t over=)im just out of ur league Why be Superficial/Shallow nothing to lose but alot to gain
Not here trying to get in you’re Cool-aid without knowing you’re flavor haha Not here trying to get in you’re pants not here to waste you’re time
...
How many
How many nice seafood dinners would it take to turn you into a bedroom acrobat in my house for years to come.
1 tag
“i read your blog and would love to get to know your neighbor who hosted the orgy...”
I can pay back in many ways ;)
I need somewhere to stay tonight! I’m by myself at Duke School (not the University, its a private middle school on Old Erwin Road) to train at a basketball camp. As of this morning I was headed to the beach and I had a change of heart and decided to come to this camp to train. I know this sounds crazy, but I’m down here from MD and don’t have a lot of extra cash for a hotel!!!!...
Out of the kitchen
What are you doing online you should be in line at Foodlion…
1 tag
“Are you or any of your weird associates/snuggle buddies into getting shat upon?”
Let's get awkward!
Let’s get awkard. I want to meet you. Your mother should probably never know about this but that’s your decision.
July 2012
30 posts
1 tag
“your huge u would hurt me ..lol”
Elegant
You got elegant skin, How are you?
the God within you
When I look at your pictures, I get drunk with desire. You radiate beauty like a star radiates light and it is intoxicating. We should talk. I want to be with you ! As anything… If you won’t let me be your husband or a lover, at least let me be some sort of pet or servant to you… A driver, a body guard, training partner, cook, maid, assistant, mechanic, plumber, handy...
1 tag
“Hi there. You are “Hot Stuff” there Missy!!!! What I wouldn’t do to be the...”
Anonymous asked: Would it be possible for me to submit a screenshot anonymously?
My therapist said
I talked to my therapist yesterday about my obsessive urge to sexually dominate and abuse women and we’re working on it together, so that’s not something you need to worry about. So whattaya say, wanna chill some time?
I don't want to cuddle with your anteater
I couldn’t help but notice you cuddling with an anteater. Peopled called me an anteater in middle school. Not because I look like one but because im uncircumcised. Sorry, that was crass…But kids can be soo mean.
1 tag
“You got elegant skin, How are you?”
A therapist?
I am a feminist as well, i can take you breakfast to your bed. While you tell me about your childhood. :)
I love your eyeballs.
I love your eye balls and your silly humor. I like your mouth!!
No egg salad!
Hey this week I was thinking of robbing a bank fleeing down to the ocean and faking my own death, scuba tanks in the trunk, are you in? P.S. You should probably bring some sandwich or something, no egg salad because it smells like farts.
“you pretty hair color, would love to feel it with my lips.”
You bet
so, obviously you’re aesthetically interesting, but a friend of mine was looking over my shoulder just now and claimed that – without a doubt – your profile was written by a guy; he says it’s suspicious when anyone is so verbose in their profile. he claimed that there were a million dead giveaways. I came to your defense, of course, but it kept escalating and now we’ve got a $20 bet going...
